·        You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

·        You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.

·        Your property could be mistaken for a recycling center.

·        Your barca boat has not left the yard in 15 years.

·        You burn your yard rather than mow it.

·        Your entire family sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

·        You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

·        You come back from the dump with more than you took.

·        You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

·        Your roommate can climb a tree faster than your cat.

·        You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.

·        You've bathed with flea and tick soap.

·        You've been involved in a custody fight over a boonie dog.

·        Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.

·        You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture.

·        You have a rag for a gas cap.

·        You've boinked somebody in the VD clinic.

·        You wonder how the gas stations keep their restrooms so clean.

·        You can spit without opening your mouth.

·        Your goal is to own a fireworks stand.

·        You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on
the side.

·        The biggest city you've ever been in a year is the SM Mall.Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home.

·        You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.